Humor Blog by Corielle Heath



October 2013


Written by , Posted in OMG News, STFU DIARY

I FINALLY have a job, and it pays me in real dollars!

My new place of business is called “GeneXus USA,” and we* help businesses build web and mobile apps for their customers or employees.

*Corielle Heath is not involved in the development of web or mobile apps, as she is not even capable of working the printer, let alone giving birth to something that can survive in an iOS ecosystem.


I am the SENIOR-MOST marketing and PR person at GeneXus USA, and I have no time for trivialities like developing the technologies or printing things, because I am also the SOLE marketing and PR person at GXUSA.  It’s my responsibility to incept people with the seeds of an idea for an app that lives in your iPad, solving all your problems, making you rich and heralding a new era of world peace.  I also write our social media content:

Though it’s not in my official job description, I can’t imagine that my talent for art and coming up with wildly unfeasible ideas will go to waste.

For example, here is an original, hand-drawn concept map for an app that lives in your iPad and tells you how to make all the money:

GeneXus USA - an enthusiastic return on your investment!

GeneXus USA – an enthusiastic return on your investment!

Last week was my first week of laboring for compensation in usable currency, and sweet shit is it easier than actually finding a job. For one thing, my office is no longer located in my childhood bedroom, which is really good for my soul.  For another, the people in my office are all confident, intelligent and funny, whereas nothing pisses-off the hiring side of a human resources department like over-achievement or laughter.

The moral of this story is:

After a 14-month mission of exploration, I am so happy to arrive at GeneXus USA and join my new family of good-humored tech-geniuses. I don’t even mind the two-hour commute required to arrive at my new place of business, because I have ample train-time to write these posts. I’m shooting for one per week. Maybe I’ll even get my first comment!

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