She-Genius

Humor Blog by Corielle Heath

Wednesday

20

January 2016

An Entrepreneur is the Self-Funded Captain of HER Own Enterprise

Written by , Posted in STFU DIARY

To the billions of She-Genius fans out there, yearning for more of my shitty art and comedy:

I’m coming back to you, just not today. I know it’s been a while already, and I’ve missed making mirth for you. It’s not that I’ve lost my passion for Star Trek puns or working for zero pay. I love those things more than ever. I am an entrepreneur now…the self-funded Captain (and crew) of my enterprise.

 

corielle loves costuming

I’ve started two companies lately, and I’m working UP a worldwide women power movement. I’m like Elsa building her ice palace, in the sense that I sing and shoot glitter out of my fingertips all day long. Unlike Elsa, I’ve got lots of help from good and brilliant people, including and especially all of your favorite She-Genius characters: Rachel, Glenn, my Mom, and my vagina.

xu95l

liftUPlift is a seriously big deal, seriously. Go shop from the women entrepreneurs on liftUPlift.com. If you have a vagina and a business of your very own, let our powers combine!

liftUPlift Photoshoot Chicago Women Corielle Heath Rachel Jones

#WomanPower #BFFs #UPlate

liftUPlift keeps me crazy busy. I wish there was time to be crazy casually and explore my full potential as a cartoonist, but I want to have a baby in approximately nine years, and I need to make the world a better, safer, freer place before she’s born.

I thought I would have more time for She-Genius in 2016, but then I decided it was time to marry Glenn.

Glenn-Corielle-Heath-Laaspere-Married_December-24-2015_Courthouse-wedding - 35 - Version 2

…in a courthouse Christmas eve.

The judge told my dad that Glenn and I are a “good looking couple,” though he was clearly confused by us the whole time.

corielle-heath-laaspere_wedding

Actual Christmas ornaments, from our tree.

We burst forth from the courtroom as husband and wife and exuberantly congratulated a young hispanic couple waiting solemnly for their turn to wed before we realized the bride was crying tears of sadness.

Womp womp.

Glenn-Corielle-Heath-Laaspere-Married_December-24-2015_Courthouse-wedding - 02 - Version 2

I realized that Judge Roger was confused because we were shameless and deliriously happy to have our nuptials at the Will County Courthouse on Christmas eve.

We weren’t eloping, same sex, seeking citizenship, or pregnant. We’re just soul mates who wanted to get married efficiently, in the 2015 tax season.

Glenn-Corielle-Heath-Laaspere-Married_December-24-2015_Courthouse-wedding - 16 - Version 2

At one point, Judge Roger goes, “Do you have the rings?” And, No, we do not, because we got engaged five-days ago. Out loud I ask, “Is that a requirement?” Nothing will stop my love, so I immediately thought up several ways to make a men’s wedding band using only the contents of the courtroom: 1) Take my dad’s, 2) reshape my bobby pin, 3) tie a piece of floss or shoelace. Fortunately, rings are not required. ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE and $38 to get married in Illinois.

Glenn’s family lives in New England couldn’t make it to Joliet for our marriage on Christmas Eve, following a whirlwind engagement lasting all of five days. His dad and sister watched the live stream from their living room, but his Mom had to work, so we’re just going to do the whole thing over again in Italy this September.

Long story short, I won’t have a lot of time for She-Genius these next few months because, in addition to meditating and making a global impact, I’m planning the first ever Heath+Laaspere family destination wedding!

Here I am celebrating the New Year in New Hampshire with Glenn, Melissa, Hans and Kirsten (left to right):

brunch9966-X3

The first Heath+Laaspere family photoshoot!

 

brunch9892-X3

I’m wearing a La Fille Colette dress I bought on liftUPlift, and YES clicking this photo takes you to her store. :D

I have an amazing mother-in-law who got all our East Coast family and friends together for a super fancy surprise newly-weds shower!

brunch10024-X3

All of our friends, family and extended network are invited for the sequel to “Glenn and Corielle Forever,” in the this Fall, including YOU! We can’t wait to celebrate with every single person who loves us enough to travel with us to the Cinque Terre for our secular and Star Trek themed second wedding.

Our ceremony will be held on the beach in the Riviera, under the stars, and it will incorporate Betazoid AND Klingon wedding traditions (we will all be naked, but with weapons).

 

When I do come back to write more stories, I will share glorious tales, souvenir chocolates and malaria from the exotic lands I save from misogyny, and there will be much rejoicing.  Then, there will be espresso served, followed by dancing.

Until that day, join liftUPlift and become part of the story!

Be Sociable, Share!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox

Join other followers:

%d bloggers like this: